Against The Odds
by Nadin4400
Summary: After the events in New York, Tony is a mess, and he knows it, and having Pepper around is the only thing that matters. Post-Avengers/pre-Iron Man 3. He's not good at asking her to move in with him, but he's trying. "If worst comes to worst, you can just throw all of my stuff out." Hurt/Comfort. Angst. Pepperony. One-shot.


I've been dying to write something like this ever since Iron Man 3 came out. And, well, better late than never, I guess :) Agh, I miss Pepperony so much!

* * *

 _Malibu_

Tony's fingers trace slow patters on her back, running up and down her spine. In the darkness that envelops them, illuminated only by the pale light of the reactor in his chest, Pepper's skin looks almost translucent. Outside, the sky is moonless and pitch back, and the waves are lapping gently against the rocks, and it's on the night like this that he thinks that the ocean glows from within.

"Pep?" He called softly. "Pepper? You asleep?"

She let out a long soft sigh. "Mmm, that was the idea," she mumbled.

The corner of his mouth tugs up a little.

"You know, I was thinking," he starts matter-of-factly while his fingers circle one of her vertebras after another.

Pepper buries her face in the pillow. "Should I be worried?"

He ignores her question (not that she has no reason to ask it though). "You know how I donated some of my suits to… what was it? Salvation Army?"

"Yes, and technically it was me who actually donated them."

"Yeah, okay," he clears his throat. "So, my point is… I mean… My closet is kind of half empty now, so I was wondering-"

"You want me to order the new suits for you?"

"No, the old ones would do. Yours. I mean… I'm not saying your suits are old, I'm just…"

Pepper rolls over to look up at him, blinking sleepily. She rubs her eyes and then tucks her arm under her head, studying his face, which isn't easy, what with the glow of the reactor keeping his features in the shadows, concealed and out of reach. It's hard to tell yet if it's a good or a bad thing.

Tony exhales slowly, and she can swear she can hear the wheels in his head spinning, his mind not entirely set on how to proceed yet, and her own is too foggy and half-dazed to get hold of the train of his thought.

"I had to do it. In New York." He begins after a while, and offers her a small shrug that she registers, but only barely. The bomb, the wormhole – there's no need to spell that out, and Pepper holds her breath. It's the first time he mentions the events from 3 months ago instead of deflecting her question and brushing off her concerns, and she's terrified of making the wrong move and scaring him off into changing his mind. "No one else could, not on time, and if I didn't…" he trails off. If he didn't do it, they would all die – he doesn't need to spell this one out either.

She's still holding her breath, although she's not so sure anymore if she wants him to go on – some demons are better off locked away than running around, wild and free. And yet she wants to hear it all – dies to hear it all – whatever the cost.

"I know," she whispers almost inaudibly as her heart clenches at the sound of his voice raw with emotions.

"And it was… it was more than I could even imagine. A whole new universe. And I knew I could die there. I was sure I would. And yet the only thing I could think about was not that it was the end of me, but that it was the end of _us_. The end of _this_. That I might never see you again." He inhales sharply. "And I didn't want to lose you. I don't."

He doesn't tell her about everything that followed. About the nightmares. Doesn't mention the fact that on the nights when she's not staying over (which doesn't happen often, thank God), he doesn't even bother going to bed, choosing to camp down at his workshop with his machines and the music that tunes out the sound of his mind until the sun comes up. Eventually he will, Tony thinks, but not now.

In the dark, Pepper finds his hand and laces their fingers together. "I'm not going anywhere."

His thumb starts running along the back on her hand – slow, soothing circles, spreading the warmth all over her body. "It's nice. That thing that we have, whatever it is." A pause. "It's nice, right?"

Pepper's lips curve into a smile. "Very."

She can feel his tension retract, still somewhat there, but much less tangible by the second.

"So, I thought that maybe if you kept your clothes here, you'd stop wearing mine all the time," Tony continues, his voice is a few notes lighter than before.

"And it's a problem because-?"

"It's distracting."

"Distracting?" She echoes.

"Very much so." He nods. "Do you have any idea how hot you are when you're wearing my stuff? How am I supposed to have any work done?"

Pepper half snorts, half laughs. "When did that stop you before? I mean I've been practically living here for almost 11 years already."

"My point exactly. Besides… I hate the idea of waking up without you. You got me hooked on that pretty fast."

He shrugs again as if it's nothing, but the air around them changes. It's thick and charged, and there's more, so much more he can't even begin to put into words. He wants to tell her that nothing makes him more ecstatic than seeing her face first thing in the morning – not his toys, not the adrenaline she thinks he's addicted to now, not anything else in the whole world. He wants to tell her that he can feel the warmth of her body even in his sleep, and it's the only thing that keeps him whole – _she_ is the only thing that keeps him whole. And that nothing gives him more peace.

And then there's fear – that those things can come back, that they _will_ come back (and somewhere deep inside he's sure of that), and that if she's not there, if he so much as lets her out of his sight, he may never see her again. That he's so scared of losing her it drives him insane. And yes, it's irrational, but then again, most things in his life are, so it's shouldn't come as a surprise, should it?

And all of this makes perfect sense in his head, but when he tries to push the words of out of his mouth, they get stuck in his throat, cutting off his air, and all his can do is clamp it shut and wonder how the hell they even ended up here, in this impossible moment.

"Are you serious?" Pepper asked quietly. "About me moving in?"

"Well, as you said you're already almost living here anyway." A beat. "I could put your name on the lease, if you want. It's a pain in the ass, but it's doable. And you don't have to say yes if you don't—"

She pushes up, propping herself on the elbow, and presses her lips to his, silencing him because he's babbling, and her heart if so full of something big and light and warm that she needs a moment to get it to start beating properly again.

It's not easy to catch Tony Stark off guard, and every time she does, it feels like a small victory.

"Is that a yes?" Tony murmurs against her mouth as she pulls him down, and he is now lying facing her, their foreheads touching and his hand curled around hers between them.

The sun will go up soon, and she'll have papers to sign, and meetings to attend, and phone calls to take (God, he hates the phone calls the most), but right now it's just the two of them, and yes, whatever they have is nice, better than nice, and he feels happy, and stupid, and a million other things he can't and doesn't want to explain.

How can he not want to hold on to this and never let go?

"It's 'Let me see how many suits I can fit in your closet'." Pepper responds at last, and even though it's hard to see her when they're lying like this, he can hear a smile in her drowsy voice, and it's almost too much but who cares?

"It's a pretty big closet." He reminds her. "You might even fit a pair or two of your shoes in there." And as an afterthought, "If worst comes to worst, you can just throw all of my stuff out."

* * *

Thanks for sticking with it til the end :) Comments are always appreciated!


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